Day 7 and dreams of people-pandas (but still no cake)

Friday night I even resisted cake in a dream. Then I dreamt I walked to the grocery store to buy food I could eat, only to look down and notice I wasn’t wearing any shoes and couldn’t go inside.

Last night I went so far as to dream I was pregnant and having a baby shower because even my subconscious knows baby showers serve cake. The last thing I remember before waking were people dressed in panda costumes pretending to be real pandas, and no food of any kind had been served.

In case it isn’t obvious, I am struggling with this no-sugar 30. All day yesterday I caught myself thinking “why am I doing this?” That’s a copout, I know, but I feel decidedly more hopeless about a long-term goal than I did on day 3. That’s probably the drop in glucose.

AnswersWillCome wrote a great post about this yesterday. She’s doing the Whole30, which is like my sugar-free fling on steroids. She experienced the same restless why? on Day 6 and then realized something I had not yet. Diets of any kind, while cruel, force us to eat more mindfully. This is a chance for me to observe and learn why I binge in the first place.

Part of my frustration right now comes from the fact that the scale hasn’t budged since I started skipping sugar. Weight is the elephant in the room because although I never mentioned it before, one of the main reasons I wanted to do the sugar-free 30 was to drop the 5 pounds I picked up over the holidays. I envisioned cutting out sugar and immediately watching my newly energized body get back to where it was before, and then some. I think I need to settle the fuck down and be patient, but it’s hard to do this without cupcakes, apparently.

Thank you to all who checked in via comments. I listened to those who recommended good fats to cure cravings and picked up avocado and almond butter, among other goodies. I also picked up almond milk, but I don’t think I’d call that a goodie.

Happy Monday to all and here’s to hoping week 2 is dreamier.

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17 thoughts on “Day 7 and dreams of people-pandas (but still no cake)

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  1. Remember the old flying maxim, it always takes longer than you think and always costs more than you think. You’re doing good. It will come, we’re in it for the long haul. And with those dreams, perhaps consider painting, works for Donald Roller Wilson. Keep smiling. Thanks for writing!

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    1. Monkeys and beautiful flowers and pickles, all in the same paintings? Where has Donald Roller Wilson been all my life? Thanks for your comment, Whistler. I always look forward to them.

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  2. I had the cake dream too! But I did eat it in my dream. Big fan of almond milk. Blending the almond milk, a fruit, ice, and some vaniila or chocolate protein powder is like making a milkshake — and there’s no sugar in the protein powders — plus it’s super filling.

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  3. I had a dream that I was late for school (?) and all my jeans were in the laundry, I kept ripping through my closet with the help of my mom,(passed on in 1989) and trying on my old jeans but they were all too big,(Yay! Believe me this is not the case of the thirty + pairs old jeans I have in my closet, the exact opposite, in fact.) Finally, I begged my mom to let me skip school and she did. It was a great dream.

    No scales in the hotel I’m staying in, so I’m able to pretend that I’m losing. I do feel lighter. I’m cheating, kinda. I’m eating the Atkins snack bars which are yummy, I know this is supposed to sabotage the quest to decrease the sugar cravings, but I’m only allowing myself a breakfast bar and one snack bar a day, and I don’t seem to have that urge to keep cramming the sweet things in that I had when I was eating “real” sugar. I also had some Braum’s Carb Smart ice cream yesterday, soooo good. I’ve got to find a scale somewhere or invest in a tape measure.

    Soldier on, sister in arms.

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  4. Those 5lbs don’t give you any valuable information about yourself. Your goal weight is really just a number that you have picked and ascribed emotional value to. I’m not bringing this up to burst your bubble, but maybe to plant the seed that the weight loss doesn’t matter. You are doing much bigger work than just losing weight. If I’m not in constant pursuit of a number, then I can more effectively listen to the cues of my body. I can notice my hunger, my fullness and the types of food my body is asking for. Now sugar seems to jumble those cues up quite a bit, so I think when we take it out the picture, we can really start trust our bodies to give us the right information instead of some BMI chart.

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    1. This x1000.

      Seriously, what is weight anyway? Just a number on a scale. When I get serious about my health, I set functional goals — be able to walk the golf course AND carry my clubs; be able to ride my bike (5/10/15/whatever) miles; stop feeling SO tired all the time. When I step on the scale and still see the same number as yesterday, it only brings me down. (I would be lying if seeing a smaller number didn’t make me happy, so I won’t say that — but at least I am aware that’s only an illusion.)

      Anyway, Kristen, hope to see you at the meeting tonight!

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  5. I’m so glad suggestions helped in this post and in the last one, too. 🙂 Another one I thought of as I read this post was to drink lemon water (1/2 a squeezed lemon in either cold or hot water — this time of year, hot is preferable) or lots of green tea. Don’t let it steep too long or you’ll have too much caffeine in your system, but weakly-steeped green tea is fairly low in caffeine. Green tea always seems to level out my blood sugar, and when I was eating sugar-free, if I felt a craving come on, I’d drink some green tea before eating one of the high-protein, good fat snacks. It seemed to help out. One, the water filled me up, and two, the green tea took away that nagging feeling that comes with a sugar withdrawal.

    Week Two should be much better, so hang in there. I know you can do this! It’s inspiring to watch someone go through it, and realize what I did, too. I have been back on the sugar train in recent months, but overall find that I want it a LOT less than I ever used to. This is the good part. I’m still using too much, I feel (my ideal is NO sugar beyond what is in fruit, including dates, and using Stevia or coconut sugar to sweeten things). But I know when I am ready for the step of another round of letting go, I will take it on. One thing at a time, and I have a lot of other things on my “life plate” to handle for now.

    I also cannot say enough about garlic, ginger, and other seasonings to help things feel fulfilling! Watch the salt, but now that sugar is leaving your system, a lot of other things will start tasting more amazing! I don’t know what it is about sugar that dulls the palate, but I think it does.

    Stay strong! You are over 25% of the way through, and nearly a third there to your 30 days! Hopefully after they are finished you will feel so good you won’t even *want* to go back. I think that is the idea here, eh? 😉

    Have courage!
    xx
    Celeste

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    1. You’re doing great Kristen, hang in there! On day 8, and finally slept mostly through the night and had a tiny more energy on my run today. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel!

      Celeste–thank you for all the suggestions! I’ve just switched to Stevia last week for my coffee, but I just saw something advertising “Monk Fruit Sweetener”. Do you know anything about it? It was the first I’d heard of it.

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      1. Hmmm, nope! I have not heard of that one, yet! I have heard of “monk fruit” — I think it is Asian — but not the sweetener from it.

        Coconut sugar is a low-glycemic sweetener, too, though, and I like its caramel flavor.

        Continued good wishes to you all. You’re making me remember how good it can be to let go of sugar! I think I am going to have to try it again, soon — another “purge and cleanse’ from the beasties that are sucrose, glucose and fructose! 😀
        xx
        Celeste

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  6. I’ve been amazed at the disappearance of sugar cravings since eating high protein & veg, (ala Dukan). I also take apple cider vinegar in a glass of water and drink lime juice in mineral water, supplement with vitamin B, glucomine & lots of lactobacilli and plain yoghurt. I’ve gone from having the most ridiculous sweet tooth, where I would almost kill for carbs after 4pm, to now passing up on ice-cream! Unheard of. It’s taken a while but my tastes are changing. I am starting to believe there is a link between the need for sugar & the difficulty kicking the drinking habit & maybe too much Candida in the system. Just a thought. Hang in there, load up on protein, it does get easier.

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