Seconds

I hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving had a lovely one. It’s my favorite holiday, though this year I realized what I really love is waking up early to bake cranberry cake that my husband and I devoured over the course of several days and going down a cryptic check list and ticking things off one by one with inane parade chatter in the background. What I could take or leave is the later onslaught of company and the tricky timing of 10 dishes that all need to be hot at the same time, not to mention the later washing of those dishes plus about 100 more. But I survived and didn’t crave alcohol so much as have periodic twinges that passed quickly and painlessly.

I also didn’t miss drinking when we went to New York city a couple of days later and this was a marked change from when we went in May and I felt dogged and more than a little lost. So I’m happy to report that my second sober Thanksgiving and trip to the big city were much easier than the firsts.

My peanut and me, ice skating at Bryant Park

There is something to be said for just continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I’ve done very few things by the book in sobriety, so I attribute most of the feel-good feeling I have now to simply not drinking and trying to be a good person, which, incidentally, got much easier to do when I stopped drinking. Every day I pray or wish or hope – whatever you want to call it – that I always remember I simply can’t drink normally and that I sure as hell don’t need to in order to feel happy and at peace.

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12 thoughts on “Seconds

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  1. Love, love, love your post. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope you are aware of how much it means to readers like me:) take care.

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  2. I loved your post! I just had my first sober Thanksgiving and you said it perfectly ‘periodic twinges that passed quickly and painlessly and that I sure as hell don’t need to in order to feel happy and at peace’! I am learning with each holiday, party or trip that I actually have more fun being sober. My cousins took drinking to a new level this Thanksgiving…the dozens of bottles of wine and the homemade beers were in full force…even more so than in years past. I felt the twinges early in the day, but by evening it was no longer appealing or romantic looking when they were all looking rough and sounding stupid . You inspire me with your honest posts!

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  3. Yes agreed. Great post and I love the photo. I can’t remember now but I think it was through your blog I found the book Unwasted (thank you). I devoured it in two days (amazing what one can accomplish when NOT drinking).
    The near the end of the book where the author chooses to run AND chooses not to drink really resonated with me. Life is so much about choices. Here’s to making better ones.
    Thanks for you post.

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  4. There is something to be said for just continuing to put one foot in front of the other.

    Amen to that.

    I have been thinking a lot about stuff like this, “I simply can’t drink normally and that I sure as hell don’t need to in order to feel happy and at peace.” I like how you put this.

    I have never considered myself an alcoholic as I never got chemically or emotionally dependent on it in the way that makes one powerless over it, but I certainly abused it, have issues with it, and those issues are not good ones. I also love a recovering alcoholic and have seen its destructive power, so I choose not to use it, because like you wrote, I sure as hell don’t need it. So if I don’t need it, it does not matter not to have it. I’ve figured that much out for me, and feeling that freedom was really happy and peaceful.

    What I liked about this post was reading how good a Thanksgiving can be without being dogged by those things that drag us down. I just had the best Thanksgiving I have had in 28 years, no joke. I went from liking the holiday and the food as a kid to practically hating it all through the teens and adulthood (so far), due to family issues and life stuff. This year was a major turnaround for me. I started to like Thanksgiving again. 🙂

    I even ate vegan, dairy-free and gluten-free this year, and I ate well! I had twinges about pumpkin pie, but did okay and did not feel even remotely tempted to actually eat any. 🙂 Turns out it was more about the getting along with others that made this day so special, and not the food nor drink that went along with the day. I’m glad I could finally tap into that, too.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences, BBB!

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    1. I love your comment and that you had the best Thanksgiving you’ve had in some time. It’s meant to be this beautiful, simple holiday spent with people we love, yet it’s so easy to lose sight of that.

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  5. “There is something to be said for just continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I’ve done very few things by the book in sobriety, so I attribute most of the feel-good feeling I have now to simply not drinking and trying to be a good person, which, incidentally, got much easier to do when I stopped drinking.” MY FEELINGS EXACTLY!

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  6. “What I could take or leave is the later onslaught of company and the tricky timing of 10 dishes that all need to be hot at the same time, not to mention the later washing of those dishes plus about 100 more.” The people behind my Thanksgivings are what make it my favorite holiday of the year. Thanks for all you do!

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