Laughing with

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I’ve always been able to laugh at myself, which is fortunate because often I bumble through life feeling one part Lucy, two parts Fred.

The other night I excused myself from dinner at a steakhouse to find the ladies room, and then simply couldn’t. I wandered through a well-lit doorway and into a hotel lobby and knew I’d gone too far, but pride pushed me forward and ultimately onto an escalator. I thought how funny it might seem to my dinner companions if they looked through the doorway at that moment. “Oh look, there’s Kristen trying to find the ladies room and taking an escalator ride instead.” It wouldn’t surprise anyone. I am distractible and prone to over-complicating things, only occasionally to comedic effect.

While this is not new, I am able to laugh at myself in a different way lately. I’ve always been self-deprecating, but in a way that rang harshly at times. Now I am kinder to myself.

I am no longer doing things to regret or bury, so maybe I just like myself more. Or maybe this is yet another side-effect of being more comfortable in my own skin, which I’ve heard sober people talk up since Day 1. I feel kinder and gentler and more accepting, not just with others but finally with myself.

Eventually I found a ladies room, though it took so long the waiter had time to refold my napkin and place it on the chair like a tiny teepee. Later I learned I was not alone because two other people from my table had gone on escalator rides too! Another had found the restrooms right around the corner on his first try. “Either that or I did something horrible in the broom closet,” he said and we laughed and laughed.

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11 thoughts on “Laughing with

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  1. I’ve been unmotivated with blogging and have gotten behind in reading my favorite blogs (yours included). There’s something about your writing that’s so real and relatable. You’ve honestly inspired me to write again. Maybe it’s because we’ve been sober almost the same amount of time and have similar stories but I feel more grounded again after catching up with your posts. Thank you for doing what you do. It makes a difference!

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  2. Oh, gawd, I’ve done that too! I hate especially those bathroom doors without labels, only pictures, like I’m supposed to be able to tell a male stick figure from a female. Well, you know what I mean. I always have to stand outside and see who comes out from which.

    Comfy in our own skins… I like that. So true 🙂

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  3. My wife, daughter and son’s girlfriend all did that in a place on holiday – I directed them out the restaurant we were eating in saying “Go into the hotel reception, passed the main door and it is on your right”… They sailed past the restrooms through the huge double doors all joking about something … until some lady challenged as to why they were wandering about the hotel!

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  4. “I am no longer doing things to regret or bury, so maybe I just like myself more. Or maybe this is yet another side-effect of being more comfortable in my own skin, which I’ve heard sober people talk up since Day 1. I feel kinder and gentler and more accepting, not just with others but finally with myself.”

    Yes yes yes. One of the best discoveries of not drinking.

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  5. I find myself being so open with everything these day that sometimes I just blurt things out, then I think, “I probably shouldn’t have shared that.” And then I think, “Oh, why the hell not.”

    It is such a relief to like myself again, it’s hard living with someone you can’t stand.

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  6. Hey you,
    You doing okay, when I hit your link to “Vulnerability” it sends me to a strange page saying, Not allowed, you were never here….is this a joke I’m being blonde about and not getting? Or are you vulnerable? I had my own moment of vulnerability this weekend, but this is not about me, this is about you. Drop me a line if you want karymayhickey@gmail.com

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